WHEN MY FRIEND GETS SLOPPY DRUNK AND I HAVE TO DELIVER HER TO HER BOYFRIEND

madelinelime:

dejanentendu:

college-life-crisis:

image

I almost spit out my water

I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I remembered this post and couldn’t stop laughing.

dirkbot:

things they don’t show you in porn:

  • elbowing each other in the face
  • leg cramps
  • queefing
  • accidentally pulling each other’s hair
  • ass pubes

things they also don’t show in porn:

  • sleepy morning sex
  • mutual giggle fits over awkward situations
  • sex fading into cuddles fading into sex and back into cuddles
  • your lover’s o face

so don’t ever compare yourself to porn thank you

"Don’t ask her to moan. Make her."


(via guy)

(Source: ucanjudge)

"I broke my own heart loving you."


(via better-and-worse)

(Source: sad-idol)

"Date someone who meets you half way. Date someone who brings you a glass a water when they get themselves one. Date someone who makes sure you don’t spend money on ridiculous things. Date someone your ex hates and your mom loves. Date someone who’d rather spend a Friday night watching movies, than out with 50 people they barely even talk to. Date someone who sleeps on your chest and leaves a little puddle of drool. Don’t date someone who makes you leave oceans of tears."


(via cynicalsarcastic)

(Source: offtheocean)

"Just because we don’t talk anymore, doesn’t mean that I’ve forgotten about you. It doesn’t mean that I no longer care. Truth is, I still do. I do my best to check up on you, to see how you’re doing. To see if you’re okay, but every time I get the urge to talk to you, it suddenly hits me that, we’re strangers, you don’t want me in your life, hence the reason why I’m no longer a part of you. But, even though everything’s changed; I just want you to know that, I’m still here. I’ll still be here for you, I’ll still lend you my shoulders and ears. I don’t care what time it is, what I’m doing. Don’t hesitate to talk to me, because half the time, I wish that you were talking to me. I just really miss your presence, I miss you being my best friend, I just miss you in general …"


its been over a year and you’re still on my mind   (via clumsiest)

(Source: itsannaliousbabe)

"People want to hear songs with the words they’re afraid to say."


(via dreamsofvodka)

(Source: seefaitheverywhere)